#YAHIKO'S FUN MAN

[yellowocaballero]

Have to say. Yahiko/konan/kakashi/rin is a pairing i never considered before now lmao

I thought about it for .5 seconds and decided that Yahiko and Rin have to be extremely free love, and that Kakashi and Konan are horny. I think a girl who's already down for a threesome with the two least functional boys would be equally down for a foursome with her least functional man, world's sunshinest man who had the bad fortune to be roleswapped with Actual Naruto, and Konan (self-explanatory). I think it's mostly just sex, but by the time that canon rolls around Kakashi has unfortunately gotten kind of attached to Yahiko and Konan. I think that's always been Kakashi's greatest burden - he can't stop himself from caring, no matter how many times it burns him.

Rin's manipulating Yahiko big time, but I think her affection for him is genuine too. You have to feel bad for Yahiko a bit, but - well, he's not exactly the best person either. Konan knows that Rin's using them but she doesn't care. They are so dysfunctional and I love them all so much.

For the record, Yahiko's been swapped with Naruto and Konan's been swapped with Sasuke. Nagato died instead of Yahiko, but rest assured that he's been female coded enough to be a tragic dead friend who is pretty much defined by others and by his juicy eyes. Don't sorry, they're in a better place now.

[evilkitten3]

love it! in my initial final boss konan concept, she made use of the infinite tsukuyomi to force the five great nations to experience what they put ame and the other smaller nations through (since surely Everybody Dreams Nice Forever can't be the only use for it?? since the regular tsukuyomi is used for. uh. torture????) but i actually think yours is better since mine is much more vengeful than practical

OH BUT IDEA

instead of naruto talk no jutsu-ing her, it's sasuke! it's not even on purpose, it's bc she's basically the first person to say "wow konoha did what? yeah that's fucked good luck killing those fuckers lmk if u need a hand" without any interest in manipulating him, so he's suddenly much more ok with hearing her side of things.

meanwhile sakura is also hearing this for the first time (since. nobody in canon ever bothered to let her in on it), and instead of naruto and sasuke duking it out unnecessarily it's naruto and sakura (kurama is either no longer in naruto or straight-up refuses to get involved in this nonsense) bc as much as they care about each other they both have a lot of unresolved bs to deal with and they just whale on each other until either sai or someone makes them stop or them both are just crying too much to keep going

the student of jiraiya who brought great change isn't naruto or nagato but konan, and while jiraiya's teachings did indeed influence that, it was ultimately someone almost completely unconnected to jiraiya at all who became the true catalyst (orochimaru finds this hilarious btw)

she has no canon height so i've decided that kaguya is seven feet tall minimum. will not be listening to objections on this

[yowyowyaoi]

The Akatsuki’s Favorite Halloween Movies

Deidara, Hidan and Tobi: Halloween (1978) and Halloween II (1981)

The iconic theme song. The silent killer stalking his victims in the chill of the night. The way he never says any words, never gives any warning sign of his presence until it’s too late. There are a thousand different reasons why these two movies are the favorite of this particular trio. They like to camp out in the living room and watch them back to back. Sometimes they’ll eat snacks, sometimes they’ll style each others hair, a couple of times they’ve carved pumpkins like the characters in the movie. Deidara and Tobi love the first Halloween the most, and neither felt like such a perfection in storytelling really needed a sequel. Tobi especially likes to argue on how Michael Myers is scary not because of the mask (while touching his own) but because you as the viewer don’t know the motivations behind why he targets this particular group of people. Hidan got them into Halloween II and insists that it’s still scary even knowing (some) of Myer’s thought processes. And Deidara has to admit the lab explosion scene at the end is “an artistic masterpiece, hm!”

Konan: Hocus Pocus (1993)

Konan doesn’t really like scary movies, exactly. She likes things that are light and childlike, and films that evoke a sense of nostalgia. No Halloween movie gives her that sense of fulfillment quite like Hocus Pocus. The story of the boy who was turned into a cat trying to save his sister  resonates with Konan, as she would have done anything to save her “family” (Yahiko and Nagato). The sweet teen love story between Max and Allison really moves her, and she has a soft spot for Max’s quirky little sister Dani. And speaking of sisters, The Sanderson Sisters holds a place on Konan’s heart as some of the greatest “villains” of all time. She’s made Deidara and Itachi sing “I Put A Spell On You “ with her more times than they care to admit, with her as the lead witch of Winnie. They’ve even dressed up as the sisters one Halloween, with Konan as Winnie, Deidara as Sarah, and Itachi as Mary. They looked fabulous but of course Hidan never lets Deidara or Itachi forget that they “dressed up like chicks”.

Nagato and Kisame: Halloweentown (1998)

Another nostalgic movie that isn’t really scary so much as it’s fun. For both of them, the notion of an entire town where “freaks” aren’t only welcome but are the norm, is very appealing to them. Kisame knows his shark-like appearance would fit right in to this mythical place, and Nagato imagines that he and his Pein bodies could really find their niche there. Kisame in general is a big fan of classic movies, and has long since been a fan of the work of Debbie Reynolds. When he found out that she played the lovable witch grandmother to Marnie in this movie, well, he was hooked. The two like to eat a lot of candy while watching this movie (it’s the only time of year that either of them truly indulges in sweets) and discuss ways they could improve the government of this fabled town.

Kakuzu: Beetlejuice 1988

Kakuzu admires the character of Beetlejuice. The man is long dead yet he’s managed to use his talent of being repulsive as a means to earn income by scaring living people out of ghosts’ former homes. Kakuzu’s always says that “Hell runs on money”, and this movie gives credibility to the idea that he’s right. He hopes that if and when he finally dies, he will be able to use his talents of bounty hunting in the afterlife to keep on earning money. Maybe wrangling up wayward spirits that don’t accept that they’ve passed on? Or souls that don’t follow whatever the rules of the afterlife are? Kakuzu sees the possibilities as being endless. Kakuzu has also always had an eye for architecture and especially buildings or structures that are way outside of the norm. He’s fascinated by the remodeling that Delia Deetz does to Maitland’s house, and secretly would love such a bizarrely constructed house to live in himself one day. 

Itachi: A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Itachi despises Freddy Krueger. In his mind, the man being burned alive was too light a punishment for the atrocious acts he committed against children. BUT the Uchiha was understandably drawn in by the concept of being able to control and manipulate someone through their dreams. Very similar to gengetsu, and some of the nightmares that Freddy gives to people have become inspiration for visions that Itachi’s given to his enemies. Konan likes to watch this movie with him, as she likes the character of Nancy Thompson; but she gets so scared during the movie that she has to hold on to Itachi’s arm for support the whole time. Itachi often comes away with deep fingerprints imbedded into his skin the next day.

Zetsu: Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)

It should be no big surprise that a movie about a sentient plant with a rapidly developing lust for human flesh would be Zetsu’s favorite Halloween film. He loves how manipulative the plant Audrey II is with Seymour, and how easily he’s able to convince him to “feed” him. Zetsu also loves how campy this movie is, with the overzealous acting and the constant musical numbers. He’s tried to convince the entire Akatsuki to put this on as a play, and invite people from neighboring villages to come and watch. When Nagato questioned what they would do after the viewers realized they were all Akatsuki members, Zetsu’s solution was to invite them backstage to “meet” Audrey II … and never emerge again. Of course his idea was shot down, but he still loves the movie and watches it at least 10 times every October.

Sasori and Orochimaru: Child’s Play (1988)

This one almost seems too obvious, but Sasori really, REALLY loves the character of Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky. Finding a way to beat death by transferring his soul into a body that could never be hurt, or age, or die? Sasori was sold from the first time his grandmother let him watch this film as a little boy. Of course Chucky’s body isn’t without flaws; in fact carefully studying Chucky’s design is what’s driven Sasori to make so many improvements on his own body. When Orochimaru was still in the Akatsuki these two would watch Child’s Play and it’s sequels, and argue on whether Chucky had found the best path to immortality. One thing that Sasori can’t relate to, however, is Chucky’s desire to transfer his soul back out of a doll and into another human body. Sasori prefers to stay in his doll body for eternity. Orochimaru, however, was very, very intrigued at the idea of putting one’s essence into different bodies, and this movie opened up his mind to hours of research (and eventually trial and error) on the subject.

[munchbell45]

Three more for you ~

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

9. Thoughts on cliffhangers.

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

Original Ask Meme for Context

9. I think a cliffhanger can be a fun way to end a chapter, creates some spicy tension. Most of my fics are so short that I don't use them, though.

Not as fond of ending a whole fic on a cliffhanger, in order to hype a sequel. Who knows if the sequel will even be done?

32. I feel like I use the word "however" a lot in my writing. I also tend to write a lot of hand-holding, cuddling, etc., but not sure if i have any stock phrases.

39. My unpublished WIPs include a few. My NaNoWriMo fic (which i really need to edit) is an AU where Tayuya, Kidomaru, and Salon survived the Sasuke Retrieval Arc (though Tayuya had to get leg prosthetics.) After Sasuke defeated Orochimaru, they took Oro's ring (intending to use it as a bargaining chip) and ran away.

They eventually fight Deidara and Tobi and are forced to join the Akatsuki. Eventual TayuDei ending. Man, I need to edit it, but I'm intimidated by editing a big-ass fic.

As for my published stories, I have done a few. None are fleshed out because they are either from one-shots or are short stories.

First, an AU where Yahiko never died and the Ame Orphans became co-rulers of the Hidden Rain (also Minato never died, but that was a side detail.) You can read it here.

Secondly, an AU where they were able to rescue Konan when she was kidnapped by Hanzo's men. You can read it here.

Third, I have done an AU where Konan survived her fight with Obito and stayed as the leader of the Hidden Rain after the Fourth War. I used it for a Konan/Reader fic (read it here,) and I have a Konan/Mei fic with the same AU concept.

Lastly, my most recent fic was in an AU where Tayuya and Kidomaru survived the Sasuke Retrieval Arc. Also, Deidara never fought Sasuke, but left the Akatsuki after Pain died because he opposed Obit's plans. You can read it here.

Most of my alternate setting AUs aren't too weird. However, the strangest would be one where Jugo (who is aged up to be in his late 20's or early 30's) and Tsunade are in a relationship. Jugo takes Tsunade to a cat cafe owned by Haku and Hinata. Haku and Hinata are also a couple because I thought that that would be cute. It's called Lots of Love and Lucky Paws, and you can read it here.

[transgendervelma]

I have seen like, people write entire novels about Nagato and why he was right and why nothing he said was wrong soooo here’s my two cents in just a small ramble not really the equivalent of a detailed analysis but w/e.

Konoha made their own monster and he was right that Tsunade is a hypocrite for acting so high and mighty like the great nations can just walk through Amegakure and wreck it and just go “Well glad that’s over sorry about that LOL” and dip like it’s just perfectly natural. I’m not going to get too immaterial in my analysis of that particular part of the manga because it’s really a structural problem inherent in the way that the Shinobi system is designed in the sense that it’s the geopolitical interests of the great Nations and their villages (because once again, hidden villages are not nation states like so many people think they are, they are millitary colonies, they were never designed to function like a nation state, the leaf village is not the United States ya idjit)

Nagato also states verbatim that he does not believe any sort of positive structural change is actually possible whatsoever. The Akatsuki and their original goal of positive revolutionary political change basically died with Yahiko. Technically speaking the Akatsuki is supposed to be following the Eye of the Moon plan which is to replace reality with fantasy, but Nagato very much states that that’s not his plan for the future so I guess he was very much planning to betray Obito in the future (if that’s the case he and Konan should’ve done it much sooner).

Nagato’s entire plan is to essentially take control of all millitary power in the world, engineer a situation in which millions of people will die, and then just wait a few years for it to happen again. This is something that I’ve really seen even people who deeply analyze this series just seem to totally ignore; Nagato’s entire plan is to initiate his own cycle of violence wherein he just lets millions of people die every few years when the pain of loss wears off and gets replaced by the desire for vengeance.

I find it extremely bewildering that so many people rightfully find Itachi detestable for being so bloodthirsty (like dude you did not actually have to kill every man woman child and baby in your clan you’re insane) but when Nagato wants to magnify that and commit genocide on the scale of millions of people just as a start it’s totally justified and hunky dory lol (and fun fact you can say this without being a lame “killing people is always wrong!!111” Konoha apologist)

[greatideas-badwriter]

Worth The Risk: Chapter 5

Sasuke wanted to curse and pull his hair out.

'Why the hell did I do all that?'

Currently, he was driving his newly hired housekeeper back into town toward Akatsuki's main house. He was walking the few blocks back to his car after handling some business for Yahiko when he saw familiar pink hair. How he acted for the next hour was so out of character; he was concerned Sakura would expect him to always be so kind.

'She's sadly mistaken if so.'

"Don't tell anyone what happened today, got it?" He felt her big green eyes turn onto him but kept his gaze on the road.

"Afraid your buddies will make fun of you for treating me like a human being?" The woman's constant sarcasm ground his nerves to the bone, and now that she no longer looked like the crying protagonist in a television drama, it wasn't as easy to overlook.

"I'm fucking serious. Keep your mouth shut, Sakura."

She went silent, so he glanced over to see her nod with mild fear on her pretty features.

'It's too easy to scare her, and she's so bad at hiding it. The guys are going to eat her alive. I should've thought about that before offering to take her in.'

More than he was angry at himself for acting without thinking, he was confused because no person, male or female, had ever made him panic like that. They talked on the phone the other day, and then she began ignoring his calls and texts, so Sasuke knew Sakura wanted nothing to do with him. She was wise to feel that way, too.

Sure, he's never been rejected in his life, but if it was anyone else doing the ghosting, he'd have simply moved on rather than waste more time. No, the Uchiha man had a handful of Akatsuki's lower-ranking members searching Otogakure's colleges for pink-haired girls, only to come up empty-handed. If he hadn't run into her on the street earlier, he likely would've stopped by her place sometime today.

'And none of that is something I'd do. If anyone finds out, she may be targeted as a hostage.'

Again, the fact that he's only worried about her well-being when it's him who may be in trouble with Yahiko and Konan for hiring an unknown woman felt insane.

The man glanced at Sakura again, admiring how her messy ponytail somehow looked feminine and attractive, before quickly averting his gaze back to the road. Sasuke Uchiha feared he'd developed an obsession. Through the years, he experienced short-lived hyper-fixations on hobbies, music, or belongings, but never with a human being.

Before calling her the other day, he planned to determine if Konan's theory that the woman had been assaulted in the past was true but somehow found himself getting over everything she'd done within the few minutes of conversation they had.

'Whether it's true or not doesn't matter. I need to figure out what makes her different from other women before I go fucking crazy.'

"When we get there, keep your head down and don't speak. Got it?"

Sakura mumbled, "Why?"

He couldn't just come out and say that she'd agreed to work for one of the two most significant gangs in Otogakure, could he? "I'm paying you more than double what someone else would, so just shut up and do as I say."

A barely audible huff met his ears, and he gritted his teeth but didn't comment on it because she'd wordlessly agreed.

When they arrived, he grabbed her duffle bag and firmly held her hand in his while leading her up the steps to the massive house's porch.

"...Sasuke?"

He ignored her uncomfortable tone, "Quiet."

When they stepped into the house, he thought they might've lucked out because no one was in the den, but upon leading her up the stairs, they ran into Hidan, who was leaving his bedroom with nothing but a pair of boxers on.

'That's just great.'

His friend's eyes landed on her, then jumped up to him in disbelief. He hissed, staring at Sakura again, "What the hell is she doing here? Do you have a fucking death wish?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed when he felt the woman unconsciously move slightly behind him. The unfamiliar protective emotion that swept over him wasn't welcome, but it also wouldn't go away just because of that.

"Mind your own damn business."

He opened the door across the hall from Hidan's room, glancing at the woman and ordering, "Wait in there." She nodded, accepting her duffle bag and silently entering the room, closing the door once inside.

Turning to face Hidan again, Sasuke threatened him, "Keep your mouth shut until I get a chance to tell Yahiko."

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, Pretty Boy?" The men came chest to chest, both glaring and brimming with inflated egos.

Eventually, the Uchiha sighed, stepping back to run a stressed hand through his tousled hair, "Just let me talk to him first, okay?"

Hidan leaned against his own bedroom door, arms crossed as he tilted his head with narrowed eyes. In case Sakura was trying to eavesdrop, he whispered, "What's going on? First, you pissed Kakuzu off by starting a fight with the bitch. Then, you were mad she tried to fuck you and stalked her. Now, you're trying to move her in? This isn't like you, Man."

Sasuke's brow twitched, glare flaring up again, "She's the first one to put up a fight, so I want to take my time and have fun with her."

It was a half-lie.

It was true that he didn't intend to give up trying to bed the gorgeous woman, but he didn't ask her to come home with him solely for that reason. Honestly, he didn't plan ahead and acted recklessly. If he didn't tell everyone she was just a plaything, things would become much more complicated than they already would be.

Hidan sighed, rolling his eyes, "Well, good luck. If Yahiko doesn't kill you, then Itachi will."

The door he leaned against opened, and a slender hand grabbed his wrist. A distinctly feminine voice spoke, "What's taking so long? Come back to bed."

The silver-haired man smirked at whatever woman was inside before glancing at Sasuke again, "See you later if you survive." Then he disappeared into his room again, the sound of a woman's surprised squeal barely muffled by the thick wooden door.

Sasuke turned to face his own bedroom door, closing his eyes and taking a calming breath before going inside. Sakura didn't even set her bags down, standing in the middle of the room and surveying the dark space. She looked his way when he shut the door behind him, still not speaking.

'And she looks like a shivering little bunny again.'

"I need to run an errand, so just hang out in here til I get back," he took his watch off, tossing it onto the messy desk by the dresser before nodding at her, "Quit being so damn awkward, will you? You're putting me on edge."

Sakura swallowed nervously, looking around the room again, her face pale, "...Should I be worried?"

'Why's she asking? There's no way she hasn't picked that up on her own.' He wanted to scoff and chastise her for asking such a stupid question, but his mouth went dry when she met his eye again.

Looking away, he rubbed the back of his head and glared at the floor, "You'll be fine; just don't leave the room while I'm gone." Without another word or glance her way, he turned and left the room.

While descending the steps, his hands clenched into fists, jaw clenching angrily, 'It happened again. It was a mistake to bring her here, but I can't take it back now. Hidan already saw her, and if I sneak her out and suddenly change the plan, she'll want to know why.'

Yahiko, Konan, and Kakuzu were in the kitchen, the latter cooking something and the other two sitting at the dining table looking at something on the leader's laptop screen.

No one bothered looking up or greeting him, but he had no choice but to get the uncomfortable conversation out of the way. Grabbing two beers from the fridge, he looked down at them before returning them and opting for the tall bottle of whiskey from the shelf above the appliance.

Then, he leaned against the kitchen counter, eyes trained on the couple that leads Akatsuki, "So, Konan, remember how you and a few of the others said it'd be nice to have a maid a while back?"

All eyes in the room turned onto him, the blue-haired woman immediately understanding the situation, "Don't tell me you-" "I already hired her."

Yahiko said, "Without first gaining permission? Surely, I don't need to tell you my thoughts."

Sasuke nodded, "I get it, but hear me out first. She'll cook and clean, and I'll take care of her wages personally."

The couple shared a look before Konan stood and walked around the table with a suspicious expression, "And what might this maid's name be? You seem awfully eager to have her around."

The man sighed, admitting in a less confident voice, "Sakura. I don't know her last name."

A loud thump came from behind him, and he closed his eyes because he'd already expected grief from Kakuzu, whether or not the leaders accepted the woman.

"What are you playing at, Uchiha? It's bad enough I had to fire her, but now you want to trap her in this lion's den?"

"Who is this Sakura to you?" Yahiko asked, standing as well. His fingers twitched by his side as he came closer, making the hairs on the back of Sasuke's neck stick up.

'He has at least one gun and knife.'

Konan gasped before narrowing her orange eyes into a glare, "She's not the woman from the alleyway, is she?"

Sasuke stood there with a face that properly emoted his loss for words.

The woman groaned, covering her eyes with one hand, "Damn it, Sasuke. What's gotten into you lately?"

The leader glared down at him, voice lower and more threatening, "I forbid it. Tell her not to come."

Sasuke stood his ground despite being incredibly on edge. Three murderers surrounded him, after all. "She'll sign a contract," he met the leader's glare with a resolute stare, "As the member responsible for over twenty percent of the family's earnings in the past year, I request you make an exception this time."

Yahiko's brown eyes narrowed, "Say I allow it. What will you do when she betrays us? Will you prove yourself disloyal?"

"If she betrays us, I will personally take care of things. You have my word."

The two men stared one another down in silence for a very long, tense moment before the taller one took a single step back, sighing, "Very well. I'll have Nagato draft an employment contract this evening. Send him any details you may have discussed. When will she arrive?"

"She's already in my room."

"...I advise you to reevaluate your ability to make sound decisions in the near future," Yahiko said in a deadpan voice, running a hand through his hair while returning to his seat at the dining table. Holding back the strong urge to sigh with relief, Sasuke headed for the exit, only to be stopped again. "Don't let something like this happen again."

Glaring ahead, he nodded before heading for the stairs.

'What was I thinking? That man is dangerous, and I know that, but I came into this house willingly! Sakura, why? Why! Why! Why!'

Sakura walked around the large bedroom, inspecting its details while also being too afraid to sit or touch anything. She was trying to learn all she could about Sasuke.

So far, she'd learned that he preferred dark colors like burgundy, navy blue, and black. He also had studying materials spread messily over the large desk that seemed to revolve around business management and related topics. Besides that, the man's room was tidier than expected and lacked real personalization.

'He's a private person, I think. That's not surprising. Those that bark the loudest have the most to hide.'

The door to the room opened suddenly, making the woman yelp in surprise, whipping around to see Sasuke shoot her a look that said whatever errand he'd just run wasn't something he enjoyed. "Sit," he barked while gesturing to the bed.

'...He doesn't expect me to…?' Terror washed over the woman, and she took a step back, trying to devise a plan of escape though he stood between her and the only exit.

He lifted a brow, "It's clean if that's what you're worried about."

With no way out, Sakura sat on the furthest edge of the bed, green eyes trained on the imposing man.

He leaned against the desk, taking a sip out of a liquor bottle that she somehow only just noticed, "Some rules. Don't break any of them. You don't want to find out what'll happen."

He held out the bottle, offering it to her. When she lifted a palm to turn it away, he shrugged, taking another sip before continuing as though reading a list he found uninteresting, "You'll be responsible for maintaining all public spaces. If anyone asks you to enter their room for any reason, get my permission first."

Sakura nodded, still too nervous to speak.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he stood straighter, "You are not to speak to anyone about anything you may overhear or see, no exceptions."

"The way you're talking, it's like an NDA," she jokingly said, trying to keep herself calm.

"That's exactly what this is. You'll be signing one."

Her blood ran cold, and she stood, brow furrowing, "Sasuke, what exactly-" "Don't ask questions you know I'm not going to answer. That's another rule."

"You just made that one up, didn't you?"

"Make at least one meal a day throughout the week," he completely ignored her question. "If you don't know if you're allowed to do something, ask me. If I'm not around, you can ask Itachi. If neither of us are available…. That shouldn't happen, so it's fine."

Feeling less in danger because he obviously wouldn't force himself on her, Sakura stood, reaching for the bottle while overwhelmed. Sasuke handed it over, smirking when she tossed back a huge mouthful with a wince.

Being sincere for a moment, the woman's eyes watered up, and she asked, embarrassed to admit her fear, "It's…dangerous for me to work for you, isn't it?"

He glared, but it faltered after a moment, and he nodded, "If you don't want it, then you can leave, but once you sign that contract, there's no backing out. I said I'd have your back, and I meant it if that helps."

For the next two hours, Sasuke showed her photos of people and made her memorize their names while giving her a little bit of knowledge that may be needed for each. Before long, it was dark outside, and the Haruno woman was exhausted after the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on today. The fact that they'd passed the whiskey back and forth meant they were both a little drunk, too, which didn't help.

"You weren't fuckin' kidding, were you? You're fallin' asleep sitting up!"

"You're more casual when you're drunk, did you know? You're not as serious."

The man smirked at the red-faced girl while leading her to the room right next door, "This is technically Zetsu's room, but he's never slept here, so you can use it."

Sakura shook her head, "I don't want to sleep in some random guy's room!"

He flashed her a grin, "You can sleep with me, then."

Nervous and annoyed, she snatched her duffle bag from his hand and stepped inside, frowning when he snickered, "You're too easy to fuck with, Babe."

"Don't call me that," she dropped her bags near the bed and looked around, "Can I shower?" After waiting for her to grab a change of clothes, Sasuke took her to the bathroom at the end of the hall, thankfully leaving her alone for the night when she shut the door in his face.

As the shower warmed, Sakura removed her clothes, frowning at her reflection. There were many scars, most from her ex-boyfriend losing his temper. 'But the worst one is….' She turned, pulling her long hair over her shoulder to see a collection of freshly healed cuts between the shoulder blades and the small of the waist.

~Flashback~

"What did you just say?"

Sakura was visibly trembling in fear but clenched her fists and stood her ground, "I-I said I'm breaking up with you. I want you to leave. ….Now."

The handsome man was frozen for a moment before laughing, tilting his head to the side, "What a weird joke, Saku."

"I'm not joking! Please get out!"

The warm act the man was putting on disappeared, and he quickly closed the distance between them, roughly gripping a handful of the woman's hair, "Why do you keep making me do this? You promised to be the perfect girlfriend, remember?"

She tried and failed to pry his fingers away from her hair, crying, "That was years ago, and I wouldn't have if I'd known you'd treat me this way!"

He shoved her to the ground, "Who is he?"

Sakura scrambled away, a hand to the aching part of her head where he'd pulled her hair, "Wh-What?"

"I said, who is he? The guy you're cheating on me with. Tell me his name so I can fucking kill him."

"You're insane! I'm dumping you because you're abusive, not because there's someone else." Stumbling to her feet, Sakura glared, "If you don't leave, I will. It doesn't matter what you do to me. I'm not going to change my mind."

'I've suffered enough. It's been four years.'

Suddenly, the front of her shirt was grabbed, and he was in her face, hissing, "You want to leave? Then leave. No matter where you go, I'll find you."

Then she was thrown straight through the large window behind her, landing in a pile of broken glass on the lawn with wide, stunned eyes.

~End Flashback~

With a terrified shiver, Sakura climbed into the shower, 'That's right. Even if he's dangerous, Sasuke's willing to sign a contract saying he'll protect me from that type of thing. If that man does find me, Sasuke will be there, right?'

It doesn't matter to Sakura if she has to take care of a house full of men full-time while also going to school. She didn't even care if their line of work was scary, as she theorized because her safety from her past was the only thing that mattered.

'I'll do anything if it means he won't lay another finger on me.'

So, she officially met a few of Sasuke's housemates and colleagues the following day.

A thin, serious, red-haired man named Nagato worked as an attorney and reviewed the employment contract with her, Sasuke and his boss also present. Yahiko was the scariest person Sakura had met in a long time. He was unbelievably stoic, with dozens of piercings and a fierce glare that didn't leave her the entire time they were in that office. After signing the papers and leaving the room, it was like she could breathe again.

'At least it's an annual contract, so if this doesn't work out, I'm only stuck for one year.'

Afterward, she realized a few men there, including Sasuke, attend the same college as her. It was a little comical, her coming face to face with Sasuke and the couple named Deidara and Sasori, only for all four of them to freeze in complete bewilderment. Sakura was the first to overcome it and quickly walked around the trio with a pale face and a sense of dread.

The thought that'd gone through her head at the time was, 'I'm not going to have a moment to myself for the next year, am I?'

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Going one-by-one would be tedious, so ship wise what do you think about her with any of the other strawhats?

Hmm, so the two big ones I see are Usopp & Nami. Though if it's personal opinion, she's as ace as Luffy and that's why they're perfect as best buddies people assume are dating. She's just cuddly and he needs constant fussing over.

Usopp is a fun one. Very reminiscent of how Kin & Tsuru got together, you rescue the crane and have to maintain her devotion. And Usopp would! He'd do his best to be the man she thinks Brother Izo thought his was and Kiku would figure out after about a month he's a big goof.

Nami? I definitely think Nami's down, pretty trans women are catnip to disaster bi girls. Is our fair maiden ready for that though? Maybe. Like...it'd be hilarious to casually find out Kiku happily indulged being a famous heartthrob in Wano. But it's even funnier to imagine Kin had that impression because she was bringing friends over to hang out. If they were together, Nami would definitely be the "she asked for no pickles" one.

Then...Sanji's a simp but the feeling isn't mutual, but with the secret out I wouldn't mind Kamatari's old streak of teasing Yahiko about "You could be just like me" resurfacing. Robin, Franky, Chopper, Brook, & Jinbei I can see fun dynamics but nothing romantic.

[narutocharacterpolls]

Commit election fraud you know you wanna just swap someone out with yahiko bring him back its easy and fun and always funny election fraud forever

- @fuckable-old-man-battle

AYOOOO HI FUCKABLE OLD MAN BATTLE! LOOOOL you guys are so funny. I show up next poll and it’s just Sasuke & Yahiko vs Kishimoto AHAJAHAJAHJAJA

[depressedhatakekakashi]

The akatsuki as SPIRITS cuz I think itd be sick! :^D

(Pein/Nagato as a god)

So, i do have a good chunk of the Akatsuki as gods themselves (Death god Itachi, god of madness Hidan, god of house and family Konan/Yahiko)

But this is also a really fun Idea. I can see Pein/Negato being the god of Anger. A god born out of the anger if multipule gods, who see’s the world as unjust and cruel and wants to change it. To do so though, he has to become the only god

Madara agree’s with him sometimes, and will often help him with his plans, but he’s also very attached to having Hashirama alive so he’ll step in if Pein is becoming a real danger to the other gods (he doesn’t care if Pein destroys anyone else. He’s only really protective of Hashirama)

Meanwhile the Akatsuki are spirits of Mortal’s doomed to roam the living world for all of eternity fir multipule reasons

Itachi- Murdered his parents and clan and was condemned by the gods to never find peace because of his actions

Kisame- Used by those in powers as a killer until the gods god sick of what he was doing and took care of him, condemning him to the same fate as Itachi

Hidan- Believes in a false god and murders in his name

Kakazu- Concerned only with money at the cost of everyone else

Sasori- Cruel murdered the man who stepped in to guide him, and pretended to be him for years to have his power. Created a lifelike puppet that was brought into reality as a costume for him by Pein and wore it for years until someone finally found out the truth and killed him.

Diedra- everything he does in his life is a problem. Hashirama calls him a spiritual headache. Hashirama. The man who hates no one

Konan and Yahiko- Killed when their little village was attacked and destroyed. Roam the world looking for revenge

[jitters-art]

a classic but top 5 akatsuki members

OOH YAY this is fun :D

1. counting what the original akatsuki was in this bc YAHIKO HELLOOOO i adore him… he means everything to meeee

2. nagato/pain.. mayhaps this has to do with one of the pains being yahikos body but also the pains just look so cool to me okok… and watching them all work together is ahksjsj incredible. also they killed jiraiya like who wouldn’t love them for that like thank u lmfao. nagato as well looks dope and he makes me sad ☹️☹️ bro wasnt even supposed to have those eyes. rinneganified by force and manipulated ever since….

3. zetsuuu :DD i ajhsjsjs love watching him he’s so entertaining to me and i adore his design fr. i think him spying on itachi/sasuke battle was just rlly funny to me too ajsjjsjs

4. konan… i suppose i just rlly love the original trio 🥹🥹 idk idk idk their love and care for eachother just melts my heart. also her ninjutsu is so cool to me. her final battle against obito was absolutely insane too….. the sheer amount of paper bombs she made to SPLIT THE OCEAN IN HALF okokokok srry shes just so cool

5. i think ! obito… i almost chose sasori for a minute but i think im gonna say obito bc i think the fact he was pretending to be madara pretending to be tobi wins me over…. it rlly just cracks me up ahjsjsjs i like his design a lot and !! i think his fights are v cool. i love his eyes ability man…. to be able to just send parts of his body into his eye so he doesn’t get hit…. wicked man idk what to tell u

[nyaselfshipcorner]

F/O full list

Figured out it would be fun to sit down and do a proper list, since I'll be editing my pinned post to be shorter soon

I only have romantic F/Os, I don't mind sharing

Mains:

Nagato

Konan

Yahiko

Obito

«─ « ❤️ Nagato Uzumaki ❤️» ──────»

He’s my sweet little fave with Konan, I love him so so so so much. I hc him as sweet and nice, a little shy, but also can and will kill to defend his loved one. He’s nonbinary, bisexual and polyA.

emoji associations:

🟥🟪⚧️🍓🍥🏳️‍🌈🌧️🐸♍🌈

Source media: Naruto Shippuden

«─ « 💙 Konan 💙» ──────»

She’s my beautiful angel I love her so so so much. Look at her go she’s so cool.

I hc her more laid back than her two best friends, still extremely nice and extroverted. She’s a trans gal and is bisexual and polyA.

emoji associations:

🟦🟧⚧️🫐🦋🌼📄🏳️‍🌈🌧️🌈♓

Source media: Naruto Shippuden

«─ « 🧡 Yahiko 🧡» ──────»

I just cannot separate the trio 😭 He's very c

ute and endearing too despite having way less screen time due to, yknow, the death. Fuck it let's recon it he's alive and well like in the tsunade dream ♥

I hc him as bisexual and either trans or the cis guy of the trio. I'm a brown eyed Yahiko truther, the blue eyed one looks ok but he's not my babygirl.

emoji associations:

🟧🟫🍊🥕🦊🌻🐸🌧️⚔️🌈♓

Source media: Naruto Shippuden

«─ « 🖤 Obito🖤» ──────»

I love this scrunkly he's so chaotic and also so right ♥ I love how destructive he was. He needs so much therapy like Nagato, perhaps even more.

I hc him as AMAB nonbinary or transmasc. He's less socially able than the other 3 and kind of awkward, reserved and secretive.

emoji associations:

⬛🟪🍆☔🌀🔗♒⚧️🌑🌈

Source media: Naruto Shippuden

⊱ ────── {💜Diavolo💜} ────── ⊰

Sparkly trash man ♥

emoji associations:

🐸📞🍉🍝👑💻

Source media: Jojo's Bizarre adventure

⊱ ───── {💛Dio Brando💛} ───── ⊰

World's worse dad and bisexual ♥

emoji associations:

🍩🔪🦇⌚🩸🍋🌐

Source media: Jojo's Bizarre adventure

⚝──⭒─[🤎Rackam🤎]─⭒──⚝

Best big bro and a very cute dork ♥ He's Bi you can't change my mind

Source media: Granblue Fantasy

⚝──⭒─[🤍Grimnir🤍]─⭒──⚝

Big dork with a very cute voice ♥♥ Enby bi disaster ♥♥

Source media: Granblue Fantasy

************************************************************

[galaxiesinadot]

I really enjoy this AU, and I think it's so fun and downright hilarious at time! I have some questions (quite a lot):

Is Madara really as innocent (or as "innocent" as this old man is capable of being) as he makes himself out to be? Like does he have hidden motives or resentment towards Konoha?

How does Madara act with Sarutobi and the Leaf's council (like Homura and Koharu)? I wonder because the title of Kage and really all high level titles never went to an Uchiha despite the treaty, only from one Senju to another and then whatever students they mentored.

Does the Uchiha shrine still have those forged tidbits of information from Black Zetsu?

Speaking of Black Zetsu, is he still going to try to control White Zetsu?

Does Madara ever join or interact with the Akatsuki or any individual who ends up joining later on? I know they were mostly there to help restore Rain country to it's former glory, and I was thinking Madara, who is familiar with war and what it takes away from people, might see himself taking part in that (especially since this would be before Nagato and Konan lost Yahiko and started allowing missing nin to join).

Will the war ever happen in this AU? I just assumed it wouldn't because it seems like White Zetsu is too busy sunbathing and staying hydrated and Madara is too busy being fabulous and above everyone.

How does Fugaku handle being the leader while having an OG Uchiha back in the clan?

Some notes about my "Gramps Madara" au if y'all were curious.

Okay maybe this turned more into a whole collection of headcanons... :⁠^⁠)

So this started as just a silly little au where Madara Uchiha is just a skrunkly old OLD man.

He's just living his ultimate retirement and...healing?? I guess is a way to put it. But also being a pain for poor Obito.

Also the Uchiha clan is definitely not murdered.

Things of note:

Izuna still dies, I feel it's an important cornerstone of Madara's character development.

He was infatuated (maybe a little obsessed) with Hashirama ever since they first met but he never acts upon it, feeling that Hashirama has higher priorities than him. Haha RIP king u deserved better.

Madara is still "killed" by Hashirama and remains in hiding after resurrecting. Zetsu is there too! I consider him like to be a really chill houseplant.

While Hashirama and Tobirama are still alive, he stays in his hideout for years. Still researching and developing jutsus with Hashirama's DNA that he stole.

He refuses to join the Uchiha elders, thinking himself much more important than them but also not wanting to waste time in "pointless meetings".

He returns to the village when the Third Hokage begins his term. The Uchiha clan welcome him back, the rest of the village is still uneasy about him but he is allowed to live within the Uchiha compound.

He takes in Obito after the death of Obito's parents. In this case, Obito is just a baby.

Madara later takes in Mikoto who, in this au, also loses her parents when she's around 10 years old.

Oh God I've domesticated him....but I think he feels pity for them. He's lost family and seeing these orphaned kids sparks something in him. It's impulsive but now he finds himself with two kids wow!

For the first time in a long time, he looks forward to what life has to bring. Mikoto is wildly intelligent and takes her training very seriously. Obito is a strange child (in Madara's opinion) but he finds him amusing. They are a ragtag little family but Madara is proud of it.

Obito is still nearly killed during his mission at Kannabi Bridge. Madara rescues him and rehabilitates him still making use of Zetsu and Hashirama's DNA.

Mikoto eventually marries Fugaku (Madara doesn't approve of that but he won't argue with Mikoto) and moves out of the household.

As Madara gets older, Obito is responsible for him which basically means keeping him out of trouble.

When Mikoto has Itachi and Sasuke, he is very happy! Sasuke is his favorite because he reminds him of a young Izuna.

Madara has various hobbies, he's tired of war. He still likes fighting but like... sparring (still trying to find that high from when he used to fight with Hashirama).

He takes up art, falconry, *cough* collecting eyes *cough* it's for research and preventing the sharingan from falling into the wrong hands.

But yeah I think that covers the basics!

[mochidoodle]

How would Akatsuki's members react to Obikonan dating? I imagine all their reactions will be hilarious. (rly love your art btw)

Thank you! I'm really happy there's some love for this lil rare pair.

So, I imagine their relationship would be a secret, but for the sake of laughs I think this is how it would go:

Nagato: Has an existential crisis. Thinks Konan is into old men. Wonders where he went wrong as a friend, as family. Begs forgiveness from Yahiko.

Deidara: Has an existential crisis. Thinks his "younger" partner, Tobi, is a cougar hunter/MILF chaser/sugar momma's boy. Wonders if Tobi is secretly very handsome (he's seen glimpses of a nice jawline during their missions).

Sasori: Cares minimally, but he makes the effort to raise one skeptical eyebrow on his puppet face.

Itachi: Inwardly concerned because Konan has always been kind to him, especially when he was inducted into the Akatsuki as a hurting, barely-teenager. He subtly asks if she is okay, if anything is bothering her, if she feels like she is in danger, if she's uncomfortable, and is confused when she just smiles reassuringly. Itachi decides that Konan is a skilled kunoichi who can handle herself, but keeps an eye on her because he's a kind soul.

Kisame: Smiles sharkily with his sharky smile, regardless of whether he knows Tobi's true identity or not. He's hard to read. He doesn't judge too hard or too openly...after all, he is a shark man.

Zetsu: White Zetsu is giggly af and pokes fun at Obito endlessly, humming cheesy love ballads he's learned over the years and making cheeky quips about how bad Obito has it for this girl. Oddly enough, he also reassures Obito that there's nothing wrong in enjoying himself and that Rin would want him to be happy. Black Zetsu just grumbles grumpily, manifesting Madara's crass visage. He does, however, drop a few bizarrely parental gestures ("Use protection," Black Zetsu says. "Fuck off," Obito replies.)

Hidan: "WHAT THE FUCK"

Kakuzu: Completely unbothered unless this strange pair of lovebirds starts spending corporate money. Also does not judge too hard because he's a million years old, too.

[porcelaincvnt]

𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂’𝐒 ( 𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍 )

cw // slight mentions of blood, needles, nsfw.

💉modern / teenage years au!

a/n : as a piercing enthusiast and a pain stan, i had to spill my ideas on his piercings <3

💉 pain’s love for piercings began at 13, and almost immediately took matters into his own hands. he knew his parents wouldn’t allow him to get piercings at his age, plus he wasn’t gonna wait 5 years.

💉pain is the impulsive type, especially at a young age. one night, he grabbed a random needle he found and snuck an ice cube in a towel without waking up his brothers or parents.

💉pain pierced his septum that night, and lets just say it didn’t go so smoothly. poor nagato walked in to see pain trying to stop the bleeding from his nose. poor baby nearly fainted at the sight of blood, prompting yahiko to run in and assist the situation. he got a big scolding from his parents and yahiko for his antics.

💉 that didn’t stop him though, as pain slowly learned how to pierce himself. he would give himself his two nose piercings ( the bridge would be done professionally ), his snake bites, and all over his ears.

💉 pain has a HIGH ass pain tolerance, to the point where the more extreme piercings don’t phase him.

𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

💉 DERMALS & CORSET PIERCINGS

pain’s canon piercings remind me a lot of dermals. so i thought in a modern universe, he’d have LOTS of them all over his body, including chest dermals, back dermals and collar bone dermals. as for corset piercings, i feel like he wouldn’t 100% get them. however, if he would, he would go for it just for the fun of it

plus they are so sexy <3

💉 SMILEYS

otherwise known as fang piercings, pain’s stud-like snake bites reminded me of smileys a lot. ngl, he would be so sexy with them like, imagine him giving his s/o hickies and his smileys just MMMMMMJMMM

💉 D!CK PIERCINGS

okay NOW HEAR ME OUT pain with dick piercings just sounds right to me. i blame @sleepysnk for this. pain with even two or three is enough for him, and he’s proud of them <3 even better when he uses them for good use <3

(not showing any pics, google is free people)

💉SNAKE EYES & SCOOP PIERCING

pain with tongue piercings is canon to me, however, one isn’t enough for him. snake eyes and a scoop piercing would be the finishing touches for his tongue <3 sexy piercings for a sexy man

(couldnt add another imagine bc theres some limit for tumblr FUCCCKKK)

💉 thanks for reading. reblogs and comments are appreciated <3

[evilkitten3]

akatsuki members (and affiliates) who need to be under constant supervision:

-deidara (will blow up anything including himself if he gets pissy enough. or if he just thinks it'd be fun. can't actually choke you to death with his thighs but he'd like to think he could)

-hidan (absolutely no concept of reasonable decisions whatsoever. may abandon duties in favor of religious business. way too open about personal things)

-itachi (might walk into a tree. sometimes tortures children but only the ones he cares about. acts functional but makes the worst decisions you've ever seen in your life. genius level intellect but unfortunately also an idiot)

-obito (might be too busy being silly to do his job. or worse, might decide to stop being silly. guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major catastrophe)

-nagato (can't really move around much. or at all. one time an old man broke into his house and stole his eyeballs and replaced them with new eyeballs. not clear if he noticed this)

-orochimaru (may get too distracted by The Science. may also vivisect other members if given the opportunity. probably has abandonment issues but will torture you to death if you ask)

-black zetsu (mommy issues. will probably call you slurs. lies a LOT. needs to be supervised if only for damage control. uses it/its pronouns but doesn't really care too much)

-karin (might get bit. or develop unhealthy attachments to emotionally unavailable men. excellent at gaslight and gatekeep, too much of a failgirl to achieve girlboss)

-suigetsu (usually fine so long as he's kept hydrated, but enjoys pissing people off too much to be truly safe. craves destruction. could probably function just fine if he wanted to tho)

-madara (wants to fight his fuckbuddy and fuck his fightbuddy. they are the same person. if left alone will sulk in a cave for a few decades about this. also grandpa needs his meds. might steal some eyeballs)

-tobi (might try to eat poop)

akatsuki members (and affiliates) who can probably be left unattended for a bit:

-kakuzu (might sell your organs but only if it's worth the time it would take him to extract them. will probably snap and kill you if you don't give him some space anyway)

-kabuto (might develop a psychosexual obsession with someone and try to become them. probably not a big deal. ask him about his ninja info cards)

-juugo (usually fine so long as he doesn't snap. might teach you to be friends with birds, which is a nice plus. will project his dead friend onto you sometimes but we all gotta cope somehow)

-sasuke (can technically function on his own for extended periods of time but something horrifically traumatic will inevitably happen to him so he should probably have someone nearby just in case)

-white zetsu (may decide to be helpful in ways you don't necessarily want but mostly is friend-shaped. excellent corpse disposal. likely has several witty responses in store in case he's ever asked "you and what army" )

-yahiko (usually fine! however may take drastic measures if his loved ones are in danger, unintentionally dooming them to become what they once stood against. might not value his own life quite enough)

akatsuki members (and affiliates) functional enough to supervise:

-pain (he's six corpses in a trench coat. six trench coats. whatever. he can look out for himself. can keep an eye or sixteen out for the others. technically just nagato in six funny hats)

-konan (exhausted. she's so tired. watched her bf commit suicide with her other bf's knife to save her life, then watched her other bf puppet around the first bf's corpse while she effectively gave him palliative care. full of love and also bombs)

-juuzou (always willing to help show young new terrorists the ropes. may ask you to join a suicide pact but has likely packed snacks for the road. will likely teach you some kind of valuable lesson or other)

-kisame (cares so much. love is stored in the sharkman. you can trust this man with anything. sensitive to comments about his appearance but will bounce back. very polite. honest. ride or die like you wouldn't believe. babysat itachi for five years and never lost respect for him, which is probably the most impressive thing anyone's done in this series. sword broke up with him for a rapper)

I think the only reason the Akatsuki were paired up that way was that, after the first mission they went on, everyone realized that unless the goal is “complete and total desolation of the village and surrounding area”, Deidara and Hidan cannot go on missions without supervision, much less with EACH OTHER as supervisors. 

They both need adult supervision.

[kenkaodoll]

Kamiya Dojo Monogatari Tales 14 (JUMP SQ)

About Kamiya Dojo Monogatari:

Tales of Kamiya dojo is written by Kaoru Kurosaki and published along with the “Rurouni Kenshin Hokkaido” arc in JUMPSQ. The tale involves the Rurouni Kenshin character in daily life that takes time between Kenshin and Kaoru marriage until the epilogue chapter in the original manga before the Hokkaido Arc. Until this month (March 2022) there are a  total 52 chapters in Tales of Kamiya dojo. This is an unofficial translation.

Previous Story: https://kenkaodoll.tumblr.com/post/680056138288578560/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tales-13-jump-sq

At the same time that Chou and Kamatari were having fun in Kyoto, at the Kamiya Dojo in Tokyo, the couple were relaxing in the tatami room.

“That’s it, Kenshin. I'm thinking of going to visit Hiruma Gohei tomorrow.”

Kaoru made an unexpected suggestion.

“Oro? Why again?”

“I heard that his injury has been lingering for quite a while, and I'm worried about him.”

“Umm, but he was like an enemy to Kamiya Dojo.”

“Yesterday's enemy is today's friend. I think it was fate that we saved him from being attacked by thugs.”

“That's a little...”

Kenshin was about to say, "Isn't that a little too optimistic?" but swallowed his words.

Kaoru probably did not forgive Gohei for that incident from the bottom of her heart. Even so, she was willing to take care of someone she had saved out of kindness. It is not optimism, but rather the depth of the generosity that is inherent in Kaoru.

And Kenshin is healed and saved by that kind of thing in Kaoru.

“But I am worried about you with your pregnancy, that I should be. Then I will accompany you, that I will.”

“I see. Thank you. I'm glad you're going with me, but Kenshin I think Gohei might get a little short of breath and palpitation when he sees you, so please be gentle.

“Of course, I do not intend to make things worse, that I do not. And where is Gohei treated now, that he is?”

・

Then the next day

“Oh, you look surprisingly well.”

Kaoru called out.

“!”

When he turned around, he saw Kenshin next to Kaoru, and for a moment his expression turned into one of shock.

“It's been a long time, that is it. I would never do violence to a wounded man, that I would not.”

Kenshin's tone was especially gentle, and he smiled.

“Oh, oh.”

At these words, Gohei feigns calmness.

Here in Asakusa, at the *Gekikenkai's gate entrance.

“Even though I'm injured, I have a life. I can't stay in bed forever.”

Unable to stand on his feet, Gobei was working as a wooden door guard to fill the absence of Yahiko, who had gone to Kyoto to help out at a beef hot pot restaurant called "Shirobeko". However, even though he is able to work, his broken leg has not healed, and he wears a cane and a bandage on his head.

“Here's a little from us. I'll leave it here.”

Kaoru placed figs wrapped in newspaper on the ticket table. They were freshly picked figs, ripe on the tree. They grew in the sunny backyard of Kamiya Dojo and were extremely sweet and delicious.

“Oh, this looks ripe and tasty. Thank you.”

“This has a lot of nutrition, I hope you get well soon. If you don't get back to work soon, the Gekkenkai will have a hard time because there will be fewer people there.”

With the Gohei’s injury and Aoshi’s departure, the number of swordsmen belonging to the Gekikenkai was reduced. Knowing this, Kaoru felt a little sorry because she had even sent Yahiko to Kyoto.

“We had recruited since I was injured and Aoshi left the group, so we are reasonably well staffed. The true purpose of the Gekikenkai is to show off your swordsmanship and find a place to serve after all.”

“Taking consideration that the swordsman will be replaced, that is it”

Kenshin joined the conversation.

“That's what I mean. Speaking of the place to serve, I wonder how that sullen, pretty guy is doing.”

“You mean he's sullen and quiet?”

“You mean Aoshi, that you do?”

“Yes, Shinomori Aoshi.”

Kenshin and Kaoru looked at each other as the unexpected person was mentioned by Gohei.

“He was showing off his skills at the Gekkenkai.”

“Yes, yes. I came to watch the game because Yahiko was going to participate, and I saw that Aoshi was also participating. I was surprised, but Misao-dono's surprise was quite impressive, that she is. But still, I didn't know that they were so close that Gohei was concerned about Aoshi's place of service.”

“It’s unexpected”

Kenshin and Kaoru's words were quickly dismissed by Gohei.

“We don't get along with each other at all.”

“Oh, really? Then why?”

“The reason I'm hurt like this is because I got beat to a pulp in the bouncer's final exam. They said that if I failed, they would test Aoshi next. That's why he disappeared from the Gekkenkai right away. Aoshi must be where I couldn't get to.”

“Eh? Is that...?”

Kaoru hesitated.

Certainly *)Chou was in pursuit of Aoshi. Chou said he was trying to spy on a company called something or other.

“So, did you take the test to become a bouncer for the Fujita group, that you did?”

Unlike Kaoru, who had little interest in Chou's private investigation work and had a fluffy memory, Kenshin seemed to have remembered the company name correctly and asked him the exact question.

“No? It wasn't a company with such an obvious name. It was a trading company in Germany, as I recall, and I couldn't remember the name at all. It was probably in German.”

Gohei and German’s trading company. It is hard to find a more unsuitable combination. I wonder what kind of mindset made him decide to become a bouncer for such a foreign trade. No, there is something more important than that.

“Gohei, don’t you recall the name of that German trading company, that you do?"

“Foreign words just slip out of my left ear and into my right.”

“Then do you remember where that trading company is located?”

“I don't know. It's a foreign trading company, so it must be in Yokohama. I was rejected, so I don't know the details.”

That was the most information they could get from Gohei. However, it turned out that Chou's guess that "it was the Fujita group that hired Aoshi as a bouncer" was wrong.

“I don't know what to do about this.”

After returning to Kamiya Dojo, Kaoru was sipping tea in her usual tea room.

Telling Chou that Aoshi had returned to Kyoto was not a lie at the time, but as a result, it told him something that was not true. Neither Chou‘s role as a private investigator nor Aoshi's job as a bouncer was in a position for Kenshin or Kaoru to interfere unnecessarily. However, they did give incorrect information to Chou.

“Are you uncomfortable with this?”

“Yes. Pretty much.”

Presumably, Aoshi and Misao returned to Aoiya in Kyoto at least once after leaving Kamiya Dojo. And only Aoshi would have gone to the Germany trading company on a bouncer's job.

At this time, it was hard to believe that Aoshi told the people at the Aoiiya in detail where he was going and what he was doing. That was because Misao did not even know that he had participated in the Gekikenkai. Surely Aoshi was doing something in secret, and perhaps Chou would not be able to find out what Aoshi was up to even if he went to the Aoiya.

Also in the first place, Chou assumed that Aoshi had become a bouncer for the Fujita group, which was also incorrect.

Chou might not need to go after Aoshi.

“However, we can’t go to Kyoto.”

Kaoru rubbed her belly, which was becoming more noticeable.

“How about writing a letter?”

“Hmmm. But the problem is where Cho is. If he took Yahiko to Shirobeko in Kyoto, where would he be after that?”

“I think he went to Aoiya to visit Aoshi.”

“But he's a former ten-sword man. He wasn’t attacking Aoiya directly, but for them he is an enemy, right? I think if he goes straight in to ask them without a strategy, he is going to end up getting turned away at the door. So in the end, we won't know where he is.”

“It is impossible to send a letter to Chou, that it is.”

“But I can't help doing something about it. So I think I'll write to Yahiko at Shirobeko.”

“That would be good. It may be possible that the content of the letter will be conveyed to Chou by some chance.”

Kaoru immediately took up the pen.

・

At the same time, How was Chou?

Contrary to Kenshin and Kaoru's expectations, he received *ryotei hospitality at Aoiya, played *toraken, drank as much sake as he could, and got drunk in a really good mood.

“I hope you'll wake up for good!”

Ochika kicked Chou’s butt.

“Ah… Oh-oh, I'm asleep as usual.”

“The sun has already risen to the top.”

“Uh, where's Yahiko?”

“He left long ago yesterday.”

“Oh, well, in that case, this is...”

The beautiful, slender, shapely legs are resting on Chou's stomach as he laid on his back. He pulled on the legs with a jerk.

“Aaaw, what are you doing? Lecher Chou.”

Coquettish voice raised. It was Kamatari.

“Whoa.”

Unintentionally, Chou let out a groan.

“You should at least put on a loincloth. And wrap up your balls of gold. I saw the base of your foot! It was so familiar.”

“It‘s a boy’s thing”

“It ain't nothing.”

“I don't like to wear a loincloth because it makes the strings of the loincloth look funny bulging on top of my kimono. That's why I've always worn nothing.”

“Ah. Yes, yes.”

Perhaps realizing that there was nothing more he could say, Chou quickly let go of his hand that was holding Kamatari's leg and began to get ready to leave.

“That reminds me, where is that old man?”

Chou asked Ochika, who began dusting the room even though the two were still there.”

“Did you call for me?”

Before Ochika could reply, Okina suddenly appeared.

“Hey, old man, you haven't won the game.”

If it was a game, you won it yesterday.

Okina looked mystified.

“Oh, really? I was so drunk I couldn't remember anything.”

“I took the trouble to tell you, but you don't remember where Aoshi is?”

“I don't remember a thing.”

“I'm sorry to hear that. We had a firm agreement that only you would be told once.”

“That's not fair. Tell me one more time.”

“No, no.That was the result of a strict contest between the former Juppongatana and the name of the Oniwabanshu. I can not tell you again and again so easily!”

“Eeeeeeh.”

“If you want me to tell you again, you must come back another day and play again! The world of competition is tough.”

Okina said sternly.

There, Kamatari tugged on Chou's sleeve and whispered.

“Chou, let's just retreat from this place.”

“What's wrong?”

“There are limits to what we can do with our wallets. I wasn't planning on staying the night.”

Apparently, they were not so sure about the contents of their wallets.

“If you go home, I'll give you a little discount for your charge.”

Taking advantage of the Okina's words, Kamatari went out into the corridor.

“Okay, I'm going home!”

“Me too! Thank you.”

Chou rushed to follow Kamatari.

“No, wait, I said I'd give you a discount, but I didn't say you don't have to pay!”

“Thanks for the food!”

Kamatari and Chou demonstrated the wonderful physical abilities of the former Juppongatana, and in the blink of an eye, they disappeared from the Aoiya.

Okina satisfied that nuisance had been dispensed and there was no need to pursue it deeply.

Notes:

*)Gekikenkai: Kendo style match or event to test their strenght in swordsmanship and fight (for entertaiment or even gambling purpose)

*)Chou was pursuing Aoshi: refers to Tale 9

*)Ryotei: japanese traditional restaurant

*)Toraken: a game of tatami room played by geisha for entertainment

.…..continue in chapter 15……

https://kenkaodoll.tumblr.com/post/680417499353939968/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tale-15-jump-sq

TLnote(1): translating Japanese is so hard because the sentence structure is very different compared with the English also the style of writing is different, plus there’s a lot of figurative, poetic language and things that sounds not making sense if it’s directly translated into english. So forgive me if this is very weird to read, and please tell me if you want give corrections. TLnote(2) I will provide the original Japanese text for correction if any of you who read have better knowledge of Japanese language. Just dm and I’ll send the file. TLnote(3) Dtninja had translated some earlier chapters in his website. You can go and check on there.

Read the rest of the story here: https://www.tumblr.com/kenkaodoll/686193523858538496/rurouni-kenshin-tales-of-kamiya-dojo?source=share